Another conversation:
me: I logged into her MySpace account and read her personal messages with the guy.All about how she wants him to suck on her lip and how she wants to chew on his ears and get him back for the hickies.I called her and confronted her immediately. I don’t know what’s going to happen.
friend: i’m sorry. call me if you need to talk. or cry.just try to remember. you cheated on her. and you had an emotional connection with the woman. i’m not saying you should feel bad and think that this is all your fault because you cheated first and now your world is falling apart. that is the wrong way to think.it’s like you are under a spell. you think you need lindsay.
Today at 4:14pm
me: it sucks.
i am so nauseous.
i am so afraid she is going to come home tonight and be adamant about not working it out.
i told her i was still committed to working on this. from the ashes rises the phoenix, i txted.
she’s still very iffy. says she doesn’t know if she has the life in her to do the work we’ll have to do to save this. nor has she found the renewed commitment i’ve found — but we both hope she finds it.
i’m scared. i know the heartache won’t last forever if it ends, but i still don’t want it to end.
I’ve actually pondered going to church after work and praying over it. Do you know how out of the ordinary that would be for me? Church? Sincerely praying?
Plus, I figured I can cry there. Need something to do between when I get off work at five and she gets off work at seven or so. ugh ugh ugh.
This entry was posted on Wednesday 11. July 2007 at 15:07 and is filed under: personal, relationships.
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12. July, 2007 at 11:24
I find it interesting that you feel entitled to violate your ex’s privacy, and make hasty judgements about someone who you casually discarded. This person who you were careful enough to keep anonymous, whom you call “friend,” is just trying to be nice to you. But, I will say what this “friend” means, you are selfish. First and foremost, you cheated on your ex. Then, when you decided you wanted what you couldn’t have and she had moved on, you felt justified in playing the role of the victim and feel that you have the right to display very personal and intimate things in a public blog. Unfortunately, you are not considerate of your ex at all, and you seem to have no accountability for what you are doing to her. You have poor form and poor taste. You need to grow up.
12. July, 2007 at 11:28
I won’t argue with your other points because they’re correct. I acknowledge I fucked up.
But as for the blog thing, she has a blog as well in which she posts these personal items — and I had her read mine last night.
12. July, 2007 at 11:40
The trouble with innocent bystanders is that they are always missing huge chunks of the story. It’s like watching a movie without sound; or hearing the movie without picture. 50% of the detail just isn’t there.