Three years is a long time to be out of the game. It’s a long time to only really worry about what one person thinks of you — or to actually care what that person thinks.

Three years. It makes it difficult to rediscover that internal self-sufficiency that allows you to survive — mentally and emotionally — not on another’s opinion of you. Indeed, it makes it hard to return to that state where the opinions of strangers — especially prospective romantic partners — don’t much matter to you. And it is that self-confidence that allows one to make the needed positive impression on such persons.

 The key, of course, is not caring — or, at least, recognizing those whose opinions are worth worrying about and those whose aren’t.

An easy guide is as follows:

1. If they are new acquaintances (and not important professional partners, et cetera), their opinions don’t matter.
2. If they are friends or family, their opinions probably matter, though this isn’t always true.

As they say, opinions are like assholes, everyone has one — unless they’re deformed, and then they probably still have opinions; just not assholes. Opinions are like suggestions — you have to be prepared to ignore them.