Overheard at Halcyon:
An older guy wooing a drunken younger woman:
“Listen to this. I wrote it down. It’s a pick-up line my mom heard in college. A guy came up to her and said, ‘Some girls say I’m hung like a horse.’ Now, remember, this is the 1950s. You know what she said? ‘So are jackasses.’”

Girls, ever find yourself getting tired while . . . errr . . . down there?
Well, you’re in luck! A U.S. charity in Ethiopia has developed coffee-flavored condoms. There’s nothing like that sweet Folgers smell when you first start getting it on.
Apparently, with such high HIV/AIDS rates, you need some fancy prevention methods, and I […]

Religious right wingnuts American Family Association are attempting to get the military to stop selling Playboy and Penthouse wherever fine reading material is sold on bases.
By law, most skin mags can’t be sold in military stores. Playboy and Penthouse aren’t deemed scandalous enough to fall under those regulations, though.
When I was in Air Force technical […]

What You Missed If You Didn’t Read Today’s NYTimes

No need to worry about poor and elderly minorities being disenfranchised by new Voter ID laws. They’re disenfranchised by death before it becomes a problem, according to the Bush administration’s civil rights czar.
The Marines get fashion conscious.
The Maine Middle School Contraceptive Controversy: “It brings home the fact […]

The Vatican was last night at the centre of an unusually public sex scandal after acknowledging it had suspended a senior official who was filmed apparently propositioning a young man in his office. Monsignor Tommaso Stenico, a capo ufficio, or section head, at the Vatican ministry responsible for the clergy, insisted yesterday he was not […]

The Associated Press writes:
A Russian region has found a novel way to fight the nation’s falling birthrate.
It has declared Sept. 12 the Day of Conception and for the third year running is giving couples time off from work to procreate.
The hope is for a brood of babies exactly nine months later on Russia’s national […]

Okay, this is great:
[Florida] State Rep. Bob Allen told police he was just playing along when a undercover officer suggested in a public restroom that the legislator give him oral sex and $20 because he was intimidated, according to a taped statement and other documents released Thursday.
. . .
“This was a pretty stocky black […]

There is no excerpt because this is a protected post.

Is it taking the Ten Commandments too far to deny a ventriloquist’s dummy (or, to be politically correct, “hard figure” — no pun intended) a tryst with Winona Ryder? To a couple of our fellow Texans who make hard figures, the answer is a resounding yes.
That the part of the dummy in “The Ten,” which […]