Dude, Where’s My Invocation?
My therapist told me I shouldn’t make myself feel obligated to post about every invocation. Only when I found it fun.
Apparently, the House stenographer was told the same thing.
Neither of us posted the invocation — me on the blog or he/she in the House journal. WTF, right? Total slackers. I know you were expecting more. I’m sorry we couldn’t get it together.
And on such an important day, too! The day Voter ID was officially sent from the Senate to the House. (If you scroll down to the bottom of the journal linked above you’ll see the Senate message regarding it).
Anyway, I hate transcription, so there’s no way in hell I’m going to post the prayer here (listen for yourself instead). I’ll just tell you that it was way better than the one offered on Wednesday.
Wednesday’s was introduced by scary Rep. Warren Chisum (ugh), whereas Thursday’s pastor was introduced by the ever-professorial Rep. Harold Dutton (even if his deep-voiced, Socratic-esque method of questioning doesn’t elicit the answers he intended during committee hearings).
Wednesday’s prayer sort of got away from the pastor, methinks. Suddenly he was bringing congressmen and women and the governor and the comptroller into the prayer, throwing in the secretaries and sergeants for good measure. If you’re gonna go that far, you gotta at least mention the staffers — suckers only got a peripheral “and everyone that is involved here.” (Watch and read the prayer for yourself.) But he did finally get it back on track in time to ask the Lord to bring some sinners to Jesus before the end of session. Good thing the good pastor had his head bowed and couldn’t see the swarm of gunslinging, racist, child- and old people-hating, Christ-loving adulterers all around him.
Thursday’s prayer was far more straight-forward. I’d have to go back and listen to it again to really criticize it, but I think we’ve already established Wednesday’s prayer as the baseline, and it’s a pretty low hurdle.
So now that my wife is home, I have better things to do. Just like the stenographer did, obviously.
House is back in on Monday. Let’s see if we can get a good Hail Mary!
Let Us Pray (Prey?)
This morning, I tuned into the Texas House of Representatives Web cast feed for the first time this legislative session. I watched the Senate discussion of Voter ID yesterday until I had better things to do.
Anyway, today’s short session gave me an idea.
After each day’s roll call, the invocation is given. A different representative introduces a pastor/rabbi/priest/imam/what-have-you from his or her district to offer an opening prayer. At this point in the proceedings, most staffers have their televisions’ volume turned down — especially this early in the session. But the more I think about it, the more important I consider these moments of prayer to be of importance to the direction of Texas. Yes, they’re all fairly standard fare — “God bless the people in this room, in Texas, in America and our armed forces” — but they could very well set the tone for each day. The entire legislative process for that day may be affected by that prayer — whether there’s an all-powerful deity or not. Seriously. Who knows what those words are doing to the representatives subconsciously? And politics is, at times, slipped into the prayer.
So I’ve decided to chronicle and critique each day’s invocation. As a kid, I’d time the opening and closing prayers given by the deacons at my aunt and uncle’s Church of Christ congregation in Alabama. Those were some seriously long prayers — and I don’t remember them being all that artful. Definitely not as well-considered as I imagine the characters in Gilead
Further, I’m a natural critic and crank.
So, since each day’s prayer is recorded in the House journal and is also available for viewing/listening online, I’m going to start offering some thoughts on the next 125 invocations (that’s the number of days remaining in this regular legislative session, I’ll worry about special sessions when we get there).
I’ll post the prayer here, with a link to it in the House journal and another link to the video with the time of the man of the cloth’s introduction by a legislator. Finally, I’ll give my worldly opinion on the prayer. Some days more so than others.
So that’s it. Tune in tomorrow for the first of many blasphemes.
Advice for New Texas Capitol Staffers
Since the Texas Capitol is a drunkard factory, I just want to offer this piece of advice to new (and old) staffers:
Go forth and enjoy the free drinks on the lobbyists. And don’t hurt yourselves down in Committeeland during Appropriations day and night(s). No playing chicken with the chairs, mmmk?
They’rrrree Baaaaacck!
Lawyers, Guns and Money
A few things on my mind:
Texas has a budget shortfall of around $27 billion. The 82nd Legislative Session, starting tomorrow (and easily spotted by the increase in crappy, off-the-rack Sears suits on Congress Avenue), should be interesting and horrific for most Texans. (Krugman commented on Texas’ financial situation last week.) This also means I need to get off my ass and finally get a digital converter for the one TV without cable in my house, which is, of course, in my office. DirecTV doesn’t offer local access channels anyway, does it?
The news media covered President Obama’s moment of silence today for the victims in Arizona. No one spoke or made noise, so no news.
Matt Bai had a great column in yesterday’s The New York Times about political rhetoric and how it can lead to violence — or away from violence.
I’m reading a book about emotional intelligence
Not that I don’t feel any emotion at all — I’m really good at anger, rage, frustration, exasperation and exhaustion. It’s the feeling the feeling in the moment thing that I’m bad at when it comes to the positive emotions.
Finally, for now, if you’ve been wondering which way your ceiling fans should be circling to help keep your house warm in the winter rather than cool, I’ve found the answer: clockwise. Since I have a two-story house, I’m doing counter-clockwise upstairs to force hot air down and clockwise downstairs to pull the cool air up. By doing this, I’m probably just canceling out the entire thing, but maybe there’s a chance of creating a tornado inside my house. Now that would be cool.
Why Luke Russert Should Be a TV News Pundit
Why? Beats me.
Because TV news (which I think can now be equated with Hollywood) is as incestuous as politics?
Austin Creates NYE Drunk Drivers
In 2008, Forbes ranked Austin as America’s Hardest Drinking City. A few months ago, Insurance.com said Austin has the ninth largest percentage of drivers with alcohol-related driving convictions in the nation.
We all know New Year’s Eve is the night many people ensure they start the new year with a massive hangover. I’ve done it many times. (Inauspicious as that may be.) Further, it’s the night that all the amateur drinkers come to town to celebrate, get sloshed and then drive back to Manor or Cedar Park or Kyle.
But what is the city doing to curb drunk driving on nights like tonight? They’re promising increased patrols, forcing mandatory blood draws on suspected drunk drivers and urging people to call for a free cab ride home from Austin Sober Ride.
What the city isn’t offering is extended public transportation options on CapMetro and isn’t going to run the MetroRail at all.
NEW YEAR’S EVE
Friday, December 31, 2010
Saturday Level Service
Night Owl Service will operate
No MetroRail, UT Service or E-Bus
Further, the first thing I heard on the news this morning is that Austin doesn’t have enough cabs to handle all the people who will likely be calling for service. They said to expect up to an hour or more wait (and anyone who’s tried to get a cab downtown at two in the morning on a regular night knows that’s an understatement).
“We don’t have enough cabs for the demand for New Year’s Eve,” said Gloria Souhami with Sober Ride. “I would say that it would be fair to expect maybe an hour… an hour and 15 minutes.”
I’d wager those calling Sober Ride will actually be waiting longer than those calling Yellow Cab themselves. Cabbies are more likely to get a tip from someone who has directly requested them than from people who are expecting a free ride home.
Now, I understand the whole concept of personal responsibility and making sure you have a designated driver. Unfortunately, many times — especially on holidays — respect for responsibility fails in the face of celebration.
And those calling for government to get out of our lives should remember that every once in a while an ounce of prevention can equal a pound or more of a loved one’s flesh.
So if Austin really wants fewer drunk drivers tonight, here are my (few) proposals:
- Extend public transportation, including MetroRail, service;
- Continue to advertise Sober Ride;
- Encourage designated drivers; and
- Allow Austin Police Department officers to take people home rather than just issuing tickets for Public Intoxication, following them to their cars and picking them up for driving drunk.
It’s better to prevent a possibly fatal crime than just enforce the law — especially when the law comes too late.
Myself? I’ll be at the Austin Symphony with my family. Sober. And hoping a drunk driver doesn’t hit us on our way there and/or back.
(Please feel free to add your proposals in the comments.)
What I Want for Christmas
Here are your options:
Buck Mark Practical URX: I like to be practical, you know.
Aeron Office Chair: And there's nothing more practical than an Aeron office chair . . . with a holster holding a Buck Mark.
Next Stop Is Vietnam - The War On Record, 1961-2008 (I have nothing witty to say about this.)
See? I’m not so hard to shop for.
(What’s that about champagne tastes on a beer budget?)
Quote
This is probably the best line I’ve read in quite some time:
[Larry King] wrote one tweet that was almost like a whole Lydia Davis
short story: “Irwin is a guy who comes to breakfast on occasion, and asks real questions that make us laugh. He is a retired businessman.”
– Jack Pendarvis, “Larry King and Lady Gaga Are the Same! And other signs of the coming apocalypse.” The Oxford American
, No. 70, The Future Issue.
Oh, and one more thing (on Obama’s capitulation on tax cuts)
Where the hell is the political acumen in “compromising” with the Republicans on this issue?
Let them go home to their constituents and say, “Yeah, we wanted to fuck Obama so much that we let your unemployment run out and tax cuts expire.”
I must be missing something here. There must be a larger plan. Like the Christians say about the Holocaust, it’s all in God’s plan — and we little ones just can’t even begin to understand it. That’s how I’m feeling right about now. W.T.F. is going on?
Look, I’ve worked in politics. I just don’t see how screwing the pooch on this gets us anywhere. You couldn’t even negotiate an expiration of the tax cuts for $500,000+ earners? Like those sons of bitches are really going to vote for or against you because you extended their tax cuts. Hell, even the poor-ass Tea Party Republicans hate you, and they’re a bunch of old farts and right-wing nutjobs who are (a) already receiving government money or (b) will never make enough to benefit from continuing high-earners’ tax “relief” (even if they could spell).
I give you props for passing the most significant health-care reforms in decades, but even then you lost your spine when it came to the public option.
Yeah, piss off the base to try to gain the center. Good job. Except that the base that money- and volunteer-bombed your ass into office is probably starting to wonder a little why they didn’t vote for Hillary. I know I sure am. Just a little.
I hope that commie pinko or brain-damaged prick filibuster this bill to death. I want to hear wailing in the chamber on Christmas eve as they talk about Santa Claus not liking deficits and Jesus, the camel and the pin. Dead, dead, dead. I want this bill in flames.
If Bush were in office and wanted these things, he’d have them by now. It’s time to sac up and eat the shit sandwich, Mr. President.
